Springboarding Into Something Bigger
I used to think financial freedom was the end goal.
What I’ve learned after the last three years of fun and indulgence is that it’s just the beginning of building a more meaningful, purpose-driven life.
It’s been a little over a week since I arrived in Korea. This is my fourth annual trip to Korea where I’ve had the joy and privilege of spending a quarter here. Usually, it’s smooth sailing, but this time around, I’ve had more than a fair share of hiccups from the get go. Starting with food poisoning on the plane, to falling and injuring my knee on the second day, to multiple hotel problems, to getting food poisoning again, it’s been tough to say the least. However, after a couple nights of improved sleep, some exquisite meals, and healing ocean vibes, things seem to be on the mend.
One thing I’m feeling on this trip that I haven’t really felt before is a kind of loneliness and emptiness. My Korea trips have mostly been solo travel so being alone is not new, but this feeling that I wish I had someone to share it with, is. Perhaps it’s because of the nature of the travelers in Jeju Island. I’m surrounded by lovely newlyweds, married couples with young children, and large groups of tourists who are here with family and friends. Being refused service at a restaurant because I’m a solo diner doesn’t feel great even though I know it’s nothing personal. It’s just another reminder that I am here alone. Solo travel used to feel freeing, a symbol of my independence and the adventure I was brave enough to grasp as a young, single woman. In many ways, I became the person I used to envision my older self as. When I was younger, I saw future me living in a penthouse, peering down at the landscape of the city, all alone. Here I am, doing just that. I’m in a lovely deluxe double room that can fit up to three people, but I’m standing here, “enjoying” it all by myself. It’s a blessing to be able to travel for weeks and months and to have the financial means to do so — especially in a place as expensive as Jeju — but I’m clearly feeling the weight of the wisdom that money isn’t everything and money doesn’t buy happiness.
Perhaps this is a version of me that is maturing and wanting to grow up. During my original mini retirement in Korea, I felt like I was living out all the fun I didn’t enjoy as a kid. I was a serious child who was focused on studying and getting into a good college. And when I did indeed get into and attend that good college, I flew off the rail to make up for all the fun I never had. This pattern continued. I spent years grinding at high-intensity startups. When I was in Korea in 2022 and 2023, I did everything I wanted to do and in some ways, since then, I’ve spent the last two to three years doing everything I have wanted to do. This has felt like well-deserved compensation for all the stress and unhappiness I had endured during my corporate days. I chose the “easy” route instead of the hard one.
However, as I see ex-colleagues and peers who are growing their careers, getting married, and doing all the things you’re supposed to do, I wonder if I’m living the life I want to live. It’s not that climbing the corporate ladder is something to admire, but more so that those promotions and fancier titles signal some kind of growth. Whether or not it feels that way to the individual is a whole other question. When I reflect on my life over the past few years, so much has changed, but at the same time, I don’t know if there has been the kind of growth I was seeking when I initially embarked on my mini retirement. If I’m really honest with myself, I feel like a glutton. I get to enjoy most of the things I want to indulge in — whether it is a spa treatment, international travel, delicious meals, designer goods. But, I would be lying if I said my life didn’t feel a little empty. I’ve been having this nagging feeling that something meaningful that really feels rooted to the core of who I am is missing. This gluttony comes from making up for what I missed versus optimizing for the future I want to build and the person I know I have the potential to become.
After a week in Jeju, I’ve seen many different beaches, coastlines, and waterfalls—each of which are breathtakingly stunning. But after a while, they all start to look the same. After the fourth waterfall, I decided I wouldn’t be visiting anymore, because they do, in fact, all look like waterfalls. Expecting to experience something new when I seek out the same thing is a sure way to get nowhere. This mirror the stagnation I’ve been feeling. I’ve been going from one consumer indulgence to the next, but feeling unfulfilled. This is ultimately because I’m missing the entire point.
What I’m realizing as I sip delicious beverages while looking out at the ocean everyday, is that the financial freedom that I’ve been so focused on is not actually the finish line. Of course, we all know this deep inside, but this trip is articulating for me how financial freedom is the springboard. Now that I’ve fully enjoyed the last few years, I’m ready to start the real work of growth, purpose, and contribution to community.