The makings of a good life
At the start of my mini retirement, I basically had one goal: figure out how to live better. The aspiration behind this goal was being able to live a more fulfilling, joyful, and meaningful life in my 30s. As I get closer to the end of the travel leg of this sabbatical, here are few reflections on what enables a joyful life.
In short, a joyful includes: good health, enough money, diverse interests, connection, and purpose.
Exercise--everyday if you can. I don't think I've ever actually exercised because it made me feel good or was truly motivated by health concerns. In the past, exercise was all about burning calories, losing weight, or punishing myself for overeating. But, with time and trying different kinds of workouts, I've come to see exercise as a gift. Exercise is one of the single best things we can do for our health and wellbeing across almost every domain from mental health, to reducing risk of cardiovascular disease and Alzheimers, to boosting your energy. Exercising and knowing I did one of the best things I can for my mental and physical self turned what would have been "bad" days into good ones.
Spend money. Money is meant to be spent. Nothing teaches you to get comfortable and even excited about how spending money can enrichen your life like being unemployed for an extensive period of time. When you don't have a steady paycheck coming in, you really have to ask yourself if a given purchase is adding to your life? Learning what actually brings you joy (versus what you think) is a worthwhile lesson. Spending money also helps cultivate an abundance mentality. You can spend because you know you can always earn more and that money is meant to flow.
Diversify across all facets of your life. This comes to your hobbies and interests, your diet, the people you rely on, sources of income, and life skills. Modern day life is way too complex and awesome to be limited to just one or two things. A truly rich life is filled with lots of different colors and textures. It also reduces the risk of being dependent on any one thing, which is a great mental safety net.
Learn how to receive. I am super independent and try my best not to rely on others. I am more comfortable giving rather than receiving in general. However, this trip, I decided to receive hospitality and stay with friends/family for a week or two at a time (in between hotel and Airbnb reservations) where it made sense. I am really grateful for getting the chance to spend time with these amazing hosts and also saving some money on accommodations.
Connect and spend time with others. Traveling for six months, largely by myself, has been wonderful and freeing in so many ways. I don't have to accommodate anyone else's schedules or needs. I could actually accommodate my needs without feeling bad about burdening others. I could do, see, eat whatever I wanted without having to think about others. That being said, there were many times where I would experience something wonderful or beautiful and wish that I could share it with a loved one. Some of the best moments during my travels has been in connection with others.
Wait, be patient, and be open. Not everything is going to happen when you want, how you want. Be humble and open enough to recognize that this is a good thing. Life continues to have the ability to surprise us, which is a wonderful delight. Don't worry if things aren't the way you expected right now. Play the long game by staying in it even when things get tough.
Continuously learn. I'm convinced we were meant to learn and grow through the pursuit of knowledge, experience, and trying new things. Learning is one of those things that has intrinsic value regardless of whether or not you do anything with what you learn. In part, this is because everything you learn serves you in some way (whether you know it or not). But also, learning helps us build confidence in ourselves, helps us challenges our beliefs and perspectives, and ultimately makes us more well-rounded citizens of the world.
Personal growth is about letting go and putting down what we've accumulated. In western society, there is this belief that success and growth is proven through the acquisition of titles, wealth, fame, possessions, etc. But in eastern philosophy, personal evolution is about letting go of all the things we've accumulated that cover up our true essence. During the past year, I've let go of a lot of resentment, anger, negativity, and fear that I've draped around myself like some kind of semi-permanent cloak that I used to protect myself at work. It's not that I have been gaining light and positivity but by removing the negativity, I have been restoring myself to the original condition of quiet optimism.
Identify and know what is enough for you. In our capitalistic world, we're told since birth that more and bigger is always better. But, there is a cost to the continuous pursuit of never-ending growth. What each of us needs to truly feel alive is different but is probably less than what we assume. We're so preoccupied with what we don't have and want we want, we forget how much we already have.
I hope to keep coming back to this post and updating it over time with more learnings and insights. It's interesting to reflect on the fact that these learnings are not earth-shattering or new ideas. They're things we all know and acknowledge to be true but forget deep within us when we're busy and stressed. Here's to building a life filled with joy!